dear darkling

Nothing to see here. No, really.

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IMPORTANT: So they had these cards in the women’s restrooms at this doctor’s office that I was at. I’m really happy that they put them in there because it makes it easier for a woman to escape an abusive relationship without the abuser expecting anything. It gives me hope when I see things like this.

Oh yes, because women are never abusers.

I never said that they can’t/ aren’t. I’m well aware that some women are. I was just trying to talk about a positive thing that I found in a restroom. Don’t turn my post into something that it’s not. God fucking damn it, it’s like you can’t talk about something positive on this site without someone trying to ruin it or twist the original posters words.

Thank you so much for the positive post, and the VERY true words at the asshole commenting on your post. This is the exact reason why I don’t like this website sometimes. Christ.

If you have to qualify Situation A with “but Situation B happens, too,” do you actually give a shit about Situation B? Or are you looking for ways to derail Situation A?

^

40% of domestic violence is experienced by men, do you suppose they also put these cards in the men’s restroom?

Wouldn’t seeing these cards in the restroom alert abusers that there were probably the same cards in the other gender restroom, possibly making them more violent and cutting off their partner even more from resources that could help them?

This seems ill thought out. Unless, of course, they are only in the women’s restroom. In which case they are ignoring 40% of domestic violence victims. I wonder why.

getting really tired of this 40% myth and how frequently everyone scrambles to believe it because they want to look reasonable and fair.

While some people may believe that there is a higher reported incidence of women experiencing violence by their male partners due to men underreporting when they are victims, the reality is the opposite. In 2008, 72 percent of the intimate partner violence against males and 49 percent of the intimate partner violence against females was reported to police.Catalano, Smith, Snyder, & Rand (2009). Bureau of Justice Statistics Selected Findings: Female Victims of Domestic Violence. U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, NCJ 228356.

Researcher Elspeth McInnes…  recounts some of her research that showed that when men talked about women’s violence against men, some cited abuse as not having a hot meal on the table, not having the children bathed before bed, or women spending money on gambling or shopping. At the more severe end of the spectrum, they nominated verbal and emotional violence as abuse. Then, a tiny minority documented physical abuse, and an even smaller minority named sexual abuse. 

“Women were talking about being run over, being drugged and raped at knifepoint, having their children dangled over high rise balconies till they did as they were told and of course you get verbal and emotional violence,” says McInnes. “When we were talking about physical violence against men, one of the worst examples was that she banged his head with the cupboard door – which isn’t good – but the sheer level of fear, harm and terror that women talked about was simply not present in what the men’s data showed.” 

Recent years have seen an increase in the number of women arrested for domestic violence…Some have attributed this to the increase in “mandatory arrest” policies, in which police are required to make an arrest if there is probable cause that a person has committed domestic violence…When officers arrive at the scene of a domestic violence crime, they often cite evidence that both partners have engaged in some aggressive behavior, and arrest both the man and the woman. This “dual arrest” strategy fails to take into account which of two people is primarily responsible for the aggression and which one is responding out of self-defense, and can have devastating effects, particularly if there are children involved in the relationship.

Two studies have found that at least 40% of police officer families experience domestic violence, (1, 2) in contrast to 10% of families in the general population.(3) A third study of older and more experienced officers found a rate of 24% (4), indicating that domestic violence is 2-4 times more common among police families than American families in general.

in conclusion women are not 40% of abusers like that bullshit, mythical statistic keeps implying. women are the majority of victims of violent, life-threatening domestic abuse and men are still the majority of perpetrators of violent, life threatening domestic abuse. men and boys can be and are victims and we need to care for them too, but by shifting everyone’s attention to the notion of hoards of vicious female abusers every time the problem comes up of just how direly abused women need support is a terrible, unhelpful derailment. 

(via beautyswhereyoufindit)

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Production DesignAkira (1988)

As I originally developed [Akira], I used each issue to build more depth and size into this mammoth city [Neo-Tokyo]. I kept trying to achieve this by creating a variety of situations to stage the graphic storytelling. But with film you get to combine all this into one and I think that it is much more convincing on film than in a serialized comic strip. - director Katsuhiro Otomo; P.D. by Hiroshi Ohno, Yuji Ikehata and Kazuo Ebisawa

Filed under akira anime production design katsuhiro otomo game changer film

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There’s no point to a guy yelling, “Hey sexy baby” at me out of the passenger window of a car as it speeds past. Even if I was into creepy misogynists and wanted to give him my number, I couldn’t. The car didn’t even slow down. But that’s okay, because he wasn’t actually hitting on me. The point wasn’t to proposition me or chat me up. The only point was to remind me, and all women, that our bodies are his to stare at, assess, comment on, even touch. “Hey sexy baby” is the first part of a sentence that finishes, “this is your daily message from the patriarchy, reminding you that your body is public property”.
My First Name Ain’t Baby: ‘Hey Baby’ and Street Harassment (via official-mens-frights-activist)

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You can’t change the laws without changing the images. It is one thing to say we exist; it is another thing to show it. Art is political, art is about activism.

Zanele Muholi

Quote is from a great piece in The New York Times: Lens, Photographing A ‘Difficult Love’ In South Africa by Alexis Okeowo. It is about Muholi’s critical work on portraying the nuance, love, relationship, lives…the humanity of Black lesbians in South Africa. She’s a stellar photographer, critical thinker, activist. 

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Loved this quote; originally shared it on my photography blog.

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This quote resonates with me personally, as well as being integral to the idea of this project. Wow.

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